Where Do You Put It?
With his heart beating, trying to grip a normal breath, he approached her.
Frightened, afraid of ridicule, terrified of humiliating rejection.
She sat poised - she always sat, poised.....part of her beauty, that intrinsic ethereal halo that embraced her, was that she had no idea, that she sat, poised....
‘How painfully beautiful’, he caught himself thinking.
‘All those who have the privilege of spending time, moments, with her.....they all take it for granted I’m sure.’
She was absorbed, caught up, in the papers she was reading. ‘Research details I’m sure’, he thought.
He had heard that she was in pre-Med. Again, how blindingly blunt.....that beauty, the sharp, keen intelligence......’She’ll crucify me!’, he panicked again.
He turned away....a completely 180 degree turn to face the old golden oak doors of the library.
‘Need to breathe....need to breathe’, he heard himself telling himself.
After a moment, after reaching that zen-like state that he had been practising for, he drew himself up and with a steely resolve, turned back, putting one foot in front of the other, his sweaty palms gripping the yellow rose he had brought as an offering....
But she was gone!
How could she be gone? She was just there......’Oh God!’, he gasped inside, ‘I can’t ever do this again - I’ll never find the courage....’
Tears started to smart at the corner of his eye. Frustration bubbled, anger at himself, his cowardice, his fears. Fears that for most of his life had crippled him into a general and continual rut of inaction.
His shoulders sagged. He stepped to the side, leaning himself - propping himself up against the end of the stacks.
‘Hey! Careful there.’ He turned quickly.
There - there she was, standing, pencil clamped between her teeth, a raft of papers in one hand and an open book in the other - and through and past the pencil, the blossoming of a smile. And the eyes, violet, sparking......
‘OhMYGod!’, he blurted out. He thought he had burbled it inside his swelling brain. But no....
She immediately became concerned - took the pencil from between her teeth, reached out to steady him.
‘Are you okay”, she asked?
From somewhere, from some place way deep inside, he knew this was the moment. Was not what he had rehearsed in his mind’s eye - but this - this was it, now or never.
He straightened - pulled himself more upright. Found a smile and watched it drift towards her.
‘Yes, yes...sorry. Sorry to disturb you.’
‘No - it’s okay’, she said, reaching out with a helping hand. ‘No big deal - just an accidental little bump.’
‘Yes, that’s it’, he said.
‘But, I have a question for you’, as he extended the yellow rose towards her.......
Completely baffled, confused, she looked into his eyes, while tentatively reaching for the sunshine of the flower.
‘Yes, of course, what is it? You needed to ask me something?’, with the whisper of a smile
‘I did. I mean I do...... and I apologize for intruding. As I have noticed you these past weeks, in and around campus, I have been meaning to ask you this....’Where do you put it?’
Puzzled and slightly uncertain, she stared at him. ‘Put what?’
‘My breath’, he replied. ‘Where do you put my breath? ‘Cause every time I see you, you take my breath away. And I wander aimlessly wondering, ‘When will I see her again, and will she ever give it back - to me?’
A radiance exploded into a dazzling smile.
‘How ever so sweet!’, she said. ‘How ever so sweet......’
She glanced down towards the floor, then raised her head to look, laser-like into his eyes.
‘Tell you what’, she almost whispered. ‘Let me think on that and I’ll try to give you an answer the next time we get together.’
He smiled in return
She then said, gently, ‘There will be a next time won’t there?’
©2018 Michael Moore
With his heart beating, trying to grip a normal breath, he approached her.
Frightened, afraid of ridicule, terrified of humiliating rejection.
She sat poised - she always sat, poised.....part of her beauty, that intrinsic ethereal halo that embraced her, was that she had no idea, that she sat, poised....
‘How painfully beautiful’, he caught himself thinking.
‘All those who have the privilege of spending time, moments, with her.....they all take it for granted I’m sure.’
She was absorbed, caught up, in the papers she was reading. ‘Research details I’m sure’, he thought.
He had heard that she was in pre-Med. Again, how blindingly blunt.....that beauty, the sharp, keen intelligence......’She’ll crucify me!’, he panicked again.
He turned away....a completely 180 degree turn to face the old golden oak doors of the library.
‘Need to breathe....need to breathe’, he heard himself telling himself.
After a moment, after reaching that zen-like state that he had been practising for, he drew himself up and with a steely resolve, turned back, putting one foot in front of the other, his sweaty palms gripping the yellow rose he had brought as an offering....
But she was gone!
How could she be gone? She was just there......’Oh God!’, he gasped inside, ‘I can’t ever do this again - I’ll never find the courage....’
Tears started to smart at the corner of his eye. Frustration bubbled, anger at himself, his cowardice, his fears. Fears that for most of his life had crippled him into a general and continual rut of inaction.
His shoulders sagged. He stepped to the side, leaning himself - propping himself up against the end of the stacks.
‘Hey! Careful there.’ He turned quickly.
There - there she was, standing, pencil clamped between her teeth, a raft of papers in one hand and an open book in the other - and through and past the pencil, the blossoming of a smile. And the eyes, violet, sparking......
‘OhMYGod!’, he blurted out. He thought he had burbled it inside his swelling brain. But no....
She immediately became concerned - took the pencil from between her teeth, reached out to steady him.
‘Are you okay”, she asked?
From somewhere, from some place way deep inside, he knew this was the moment. Was not what he had rehearsed in his mind’s eye - but this - this was it, now or never.
He straightened - pulled himself more upright. Found a smile and watched it drift towards her.
‘Yes, yes...sorry. Sorry to disturb you.’
‘No - it’s okay’, she said, reaching out with a helping hand. ‘No big deal - just an accidental little bump.’
‘Yes, that’s it’, he said.
‘But, I have a question for you’, as he extended the yellow rose towards her.......
Completely baffled, confused, she looked into his eyes, while tentatively reaching for the sunshine of the flower.
‘Yes, of course, what is it? You needed to ask me something?’, with the whisper of a smile
‘I did. I mean I do...... and I apologize for intruding. As I have noticed you these past weeks, in and around campus, I have been meaning to ask you this....’Where do you put it?’
Puzzled and slightly uncertain, she stared at him. ‘Put what?’
‘My breath’, he replied. ‘Where do you put my breath? ‘Cause every time I see you, you take my breath away. And I wander aimlessly wondering, ‘When will I see her again, and will she ever give it back - to me?’
A radiance exploded into a dazzling smile.
‘How ever so sweet!’, she said. ‘How ever so sweet......’
She glanced down towards the floor, then raised her head to look, laser-like into his eyes.
‘Tell you what’, she almost whispered. ‘Let me think on that and I’ll try to give you an answer the next time we get together.’
He smiled in return
She then said, gently, ‘There will be a next time won’t there?’
©2018 Michael Moore
